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Model effective boundary setting. If the children in your life are doing something that crosses your boundaries - perhaps by climbing or jumping on you, throwing balls in the house, or using words that you find offensive - tell them clearly and respectfully, as soon as you can. Model maintaining a boundary in the face of resistance!

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Use sibling bickering as a learning opportunity. When one child is feeling upset about another's behavior, try coaching the child who is feeling bothered to express a clear respectful boundary. Coach the other child to listen. Deal with the crossing of appropriate personal boundaries with the same firm clarity you would apply to hitting, kicking, or spitting.

·	Set clear boundaries about physical aggression. If your children are getting physically aggressive when they are upset with each other, stop the behavior. Direct children toward more appropriate and effective ways of managing their conflicts.

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Review safety rules for answering the door or phone. Revise rules based on your children's development of skills and possible changes in your living situation. I recommend that young children check with the adult in charge first before they answer the phone or open the door, even when a parent is home.

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Update safety rules about going. I recommend that young people do not change the plan about where they are going, whom they are going to be with, or when they will be home without checking with their parent or other adult in charge first. It is important for everyone to be clear about what the expectations are.

·	Review and practice emergency plans. What if someone gets hurt? What if there is a fire? Practice safety strategies for various emergencies.

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Set up clear safety plans for pick-ups, drop-offs, and getting help. Review your clear - and, we recommend, VERY SHORT - list of people the child can go with at pick-up time without checking first. Role-play how they will follow your family's rules about checking first. Make sure that they have or know where to find all important phone numbers.

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Acknowledge differences. Meeting diverse new people can mean meeting people who are louder or quieter; who stand very close in conversation, or farther away than you are accustomed; who initiate play more subtly or in a ways that seem overbearing; or who use words and vocabulary differently than you do.

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Grant freedoms based on demonstrated skills. Before giving your children more independence, expect them to demonstrate the skills needed to manage it safely. For example, a child wanting to use public transit independently will need to demonstrate a willingness to get space between himself and a person making him feel uncomfortable; the ability to ask for help and persist, politely but firmly, until he gets help; and the willingness to get off the bus, take a different bus, or call for a ride if those are the safest choices.

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Make and practice Safety Plans. I want young people to have a picture in their minds of where safety is so that if they have a problem, they are moving toward safety, not just away from possible danger. It is normal for people to think of a familiar place or person as "safety." However, in an emergency, we want our children to get help as quickly and as safely as they can. Role-play ways of getting help in emergencies where they cannot check first.

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Give permission to use self-defense skills appropriately. Any strong resistance will stop most assaults. However, young people often won't protect themselves because they don't want to get in trouble. Have a frank discussion about when it is okay to hurt somebody to stop that person from hurting you.

·	Make a Safety Plan for how to get help everywhere your children go. What will each of person do if you get separated? What if someone bothers you?

·	Agree on the safety rules about different kinds of transportation. The rules on an airplane will be different than on a boat, which will be different at a

rest stop on a long car trip. Talk about boundaries like where it is safe to go and where it is not safe to go without checking first.